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Come, sit with me, close your eyes, hold my hand, let's go far away from this place to the place in which you came from.
"People Treat You How They Feel About Themselves"
I am happy to be back writing to you. I have been occupied with moving from one business to another for over a week now and it has been non-stop. Some days it has been draining especially when the air conditioner went out in our transportation, and we live in hot Texas. You can only imagine what that was like. :) It's all good, it has been repaired and things are starting to settle for me now.
Let's dig into this topic. How people treat you is how they feel about themselves. How you treat others has everything to do with how you feel about yourself. We are quick to take things personally becoming offended easily by the actions of others when we all act from a place of how we feel about ourselves. It becomes difficult to remember this when someone is treating us unkind and without consideration, but they are only projecting how they feel inside.
A person who doesn't love themselves cannot truly love you. They can be attached to you, dependent on you, looking for you to validate them, and make them feel complete, but these things are not love. Love is freedom. Love is wanting to see the other person do whatever makes them happy. A person can't treat you with love if they don't love themselves. We have to feel love and have love to give love. How can one give something that they don't have? We have to feel love for ourselves to give love to someone else. We can only operate from a place of how we feel. We will act in accordance to how we feel and we cannot hide that. We can try, but it will show up in our vibe. We have to love the feeling of love, the idea of love, the imagination of love, and the freedom of love, to freely give love.
Love is undervalued and it holds the most power in healing our heart and soul.
I don't trust words, I trust patterns. If a person is continuously showing me the same patterns of telling me one thing and doing another, I know how to steer clear of them. I know what love feels like and if I don't feel love from a person, it doesn't matter if they say that they love me, I won't believe them. I know that we treat the things that we love with respect and value. We treat what we love good. If we truly love ourselves, we would be treating ourselves good. Not just good, but great, we would treat ourselves like royalty. We would care for our bodies, resting when we feel our body saying to us to rest. We would put healthy foods into our body, and give it some kind of physical movement. When we love ourselves, we guard our mind from foolish thoughts, and from taking in disturbing images and information. We protect what we love. We protect ourselves from people who are showing signs of hurting us, from people who have betrayed our trust, and from people who don't treat us right.
A person has to be in significant pain to bring pain to another. They have to be crying and screaming inside from their inner child to be nasty and deceitful towards you. Their heart has to be iced over and broken into pieces underneath to intentionally bring pain to another person. It is said that hurt people, hurt people, but I've been hurt, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone else. It makes me feel awful to hurt someone else, as I feel the pain too. I feel guilt, hurt, and shame at the thought of hurting someone. People who are hurting can be irresponsible in bringing pain to another's life. When we are focused solely on our pain and the unfairness happening in our lives, there is no room to think of consideration for others. People mask this pain, but it shows in their behavior, as they become self-absorbed, careless to the feelings of others. They began to believe that people are making decisions and acting based on them, when it really has nothing to do with them.
They can't have true concern for you if they are engulfed in themselves. When we are centered around all that is going on in our lives, we don't have anything to give to anyone else. We are too focused on what's happening to us, we become stuck in our thoughts, and we begin to compare our situations to other people. It is true that a person can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. When we are caught up in self-pity and pride, we will find it hard to have empathy for others. We have nothing to give them in this kind of mind state, because we are focused solely on ourselves, and what is happening in our world.
When was the last time that you called to check on someone you call your friend? When was the last time that you sent a text to them telling them that you were thinking of them?
When was the last time that you said, "I love you?"
Instead of assuming that the person is being indifferent towards you, how about checking on them?
When people stay away sometimes they are not energetically up to conversations and being around people. If I am needing to give myself self love and self care, I stay away, I isolate, and I work on myself to get better. I am not good at faking my vibration, so it's best that I keep to myself if I am in a low space. If I find myself in a low space, I do everything possible to bring myself out of it. I refuse to stay there long. I rise, and I rise up every time.
Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz
We act from within ourselves. We have no control over how others act and behave towards us. However we can choose to disengage. We don't have to be around them or keep contact with them. If we are in a situation where it's hard to get away from a person who behaves unkindly towards us, we need to be planning our exit. Our emotional mind is fragile and words spoken to us can last for years. We begin to over analyze conversations that we have with careless speakers. We have to be mindful of our mind. We can be carried away by our mind so quickly, gone to a place of darkness, a place of regret, and resentment, having to crawl our way back to the light side of life.
We treat people how we feel. When we're angry, we can be rude, the least little thing can set us off. It's not about the other person, it's that we're on the edge and we are not thinking about anything except what we're angry about. Anger is d-anger, we are dangerous to ourselves and others when we are angry. We are moving through a dark cloud when we're in an angry state of mind, our temperature rises as we become heated, we start a chemical warfare in our bodies. As we exit the angry state of mind, we feel like we have came back from somewhere. We feel better. We feel that we have been irrational and perhaps taken over by a dark spirit. People can see darkness around us if it's there. It shows up in our aura.
I have been hurt by being treated unfairly, judged, misunderstood, and lied on, and when I look back on it, I realize that it had nothing to do with me. Those people were acting from within their own heart. It was something inside of them that made them act the way they did towards me. I have released the pain from hurtful incidents, they have no power over me. I learned from those incidents and I learned that they were never about me. Much of what you experience from judgment from others is projection. Much of the blame that you have shouldered in relationships with others is projection. People will project to you how they're feeling inside of themselves. This is not your fault, and you don't have to let it continue. Remove yourself.
It doesn't matter if they blame you, just don't be there.
If you feel good, you will treat others good too. If you feel good inside, you will want to make others feel good inside too. When we feel fantastic we glow and others can see our light. We become magnetic and people want to be around us when our aura is light. We treat others with compassion, care, and love when we feel good. We are more forgiving when we feel good. We show others love when we feel good inside. We have patience with frustrating situations when we feel good. We commit acts of kindness when we feel good. When we feel good about ourselves, we make others feel good about themselves too.
We compliment others when we feel good about ourselves. People who don't feel good about themselves, try to make others feel bad about themselves. They point out things on others that could make them feel bad about themselves. When we are unhappy with ourselves, we don't understand happiness, and we think that we are alone in unhappiness. It's easy to be unhappy, it is a radical act to choose happiness in a world where there are so many unhappy people. People looking for arguments, focused on things and events that are beyond their control, and holding stain in their mind about something that happened in the past.
When we are happy, we bring happiness to other people. We don't worry about things that are beyond our reach. We live and we are grateful for what we have. And when we are grateful, we show others gratitude. We say thank you, and we truly mean what we say.
We choose kindness even when the other person is unkind. We don't allow another to determine our behavior. We don't react, we respond, and we respond with kindness and understanding.
You will always know how someone feels by the way they treat you.
Thanks for being patient with me!
I love you all!
Visit my website at www.newdayze.com/
Raquel Givens Jones
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