WRITE NOW RIGHT NOW
Come, sit with me, close your eyes, hold my hand, let's go far away from this place to the place in which you came from.
"Nothing Compares to You"
When you make a comparison, you consider two or more things and discover the differences... www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/comparison
Comparison can become a habit, as we can do so without ever realizing the damage that we are doing to ourselves. We compare without thinking twice, then it leaks over to our relationships, and we start comparing our partners to our past partners, and that is offensive to our current partner. This takes our mind out of the present moment and into the past.
Whenever we start making comparisons, it's our ego that's doing so. It doesn't matter if we are saying that someone else does something better than us, or if we are stating that we do something better than someone else, it's all ego driven. Whenever we place our focus on someone else, we have to ask why? Why are we focused on how they are, or what they do? I have found that it's almost natural to compare. The ego makes itself natural, and will naturally try to run the show if we allow it to, when it is our most unnatural self.
"Why doesn't such and so be more like so and so?" If only he was more like him." "If only she had the humility of her." We do these comparisons, but that person is who they are, and they are where the Divine wants them to be at this current moment. We are all infantile in our spiritual progress, so things will get under our skin, and sidetrack us. We start to project, instead of reflect. Projection is focused externally, and reflection is going inside to take a peek at our own emotional and mental state.
Comparison is a major distraction because we look at our lives, and then look at another's life, pointing out the things that they have that we don't have. We wonder why we don't have it, and they have it. What did they do that I am not doing? Some people even go as far to say, "well I look better than them so why don't I have the husband?" I am a better man than him, I am more responsible than him, I have make more money than he does, "why does she want to be with him instead?" Well those questions are exactly the reason why their situation is what it is. If we find it difficult to be naturally happy for others and their situations, we will block whatever it is that we want out of life. People do this unconsciously, because if they were awake to their consciousness they would know that this is not the way to attract whatever you want.
"How is it that they have better luck than me?" "Such and so's children are going to college and getting good jobs, why can't you do the same," is so emotionally damaging to our children. Comparing our children to other children, even their siblings is emotionally distressing to a child. Some parents do this without realizing that they are damaging the relationship and rapport that they have with their own children constantly comparing as if this will encourage the child, when it's making them unhappy, and doing the total opposite. This is the paren't ego in action, wanting the child to make them look good to the outside world. Children are just miniature adults, they feel the same feeling that we feel, but much more intensely. And when these children grow up, they remember, they remember how we treated them when we thought they were powerless.
I will not open the door open to discuss my children's issues with anyone, because people will over step their boundaries with their words about your children, when you open the door to it. I don't sit with other mothers swopping comparisons about my children unless I am saying that they are alike in a pleasant way. I respect my children and I give them the respect that I would give any other person.
Sometimes we make comparisons to share stories to try and help someone. We try to help, but when someone comes to us, or opens up to us, it's not helping to share our story making it about us. Being supportive is listening, not bringing the focus back onto ourselves. I have done so in the past, sharing my story when someone tells me theirs, thinking that I would be helping them in some way. However, what is right for me, may not be right for them. I have to honor their way, their life, their choices, and respect it. I have learned along the way through self-reflection, experiences, studying, reading, and researching, that some of my methods were crossing emotional boundaries. And in that research, reflection, and meditation, has led me more to staying to myself, solitude to fix my attitude.
We must be careful in our words, even when someone asks us for advice. We can share our story, but it shouldn't turn into a comparison contest. "Comparison is the thief of joy." Theodore Roosevelt
Comparing ourselves to others steals our good energy. Comparison comes through rejection. When we are rejected by someone, we start comparing and wondering about ourselves, what's wrong with us. Our insecurities come to surface, especially if the person moves onto someone else. We ask ourselves, "what is it about this person that's better than me?"
We compare what we have done for that person to what others have done, as if that should make a difference. Did you it from the heart? Well don't mention it. We compare how a person treats us versus how they treat someone else, when we have control over how someone treats us. We can disengage, we can set boundaries, and create a safe distance. We have to practice these methods to learn to protect ourselves, because we never learned that.
I wrote about these comparisons to lead up to this. When we spend our time comparing, we are distracting ourselves from our true purposes in life. Just think what you could be doing instead of using your time to compare. Be so focused on your path and purpose that you don't focus on what anyone else is doing. This is not to be selfish, this is to make sure that you walk your own path, and not someone else's. Being focused on your own path eliminates gossip, disdain, putting someone down, and bringing up old pain. Whenever you focus on something it magnifies and grows, because you are powering it with the energy to grow.
So just imagine if you focus on yourself and what you want to do in life.
I wrote about comparison because this is a note to myself. It is something that I have been consciously working on, and I discovered how common it is for us to make unhealthy comparisons. We are going in the same direction, to get closer to where we came from. Consciously practice keeping your mind in the current moment, focusing on your higher self, the God that lives in you, because
"Nothing compares to you." Sinead O'Connor.
You are one of a kind, an original, they don't make them like you. No one is like you, no one is you. You are amazing, gifted, and beautiful. You are Divine.
Thanks for reading! I am sooo grateful for you taking the time to listen to me.
May God speak through me,
I Love you,
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Raquel Givens Jones
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