THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE
Come, sit with me, close your eyes, hold my hand, let's go far away from this place to the place in which you came from.
My Letter to You...
I am writing you this letter after my meditation while everything is fresh on my mind. I asked God what I needed to know? The answer that came to me was to send out a blog. Divine forces guide me in all my ways and deeds. I truly believe that God is the working Source of my supply, and I move and operate through life, trusting the process of what is on my path. Although, in the past, I did not trust the journey and was often worried. I practice moving without resistance. As I listen to resistance that I feel within and sit with it, I bless it and release it. The goal is to heal and forgive.
It has been in my heart to send a blog to you. I had so many things that I wanted to say to you, many things to tell you about, but as I reread the blogs, I started to feel like I needed to do more healing before I sent them out to you. I questioned my tone, voice, delivery, and message because I aim for my words to come from the highest voice within. I aim to speak without any restrictions and judgment. It is not aiming to be perfect but to accept all imperfections. Who determines what is perfect anyway? Who came up with that? I am as perfect as nature, as every leaf, every bird, every tree, flowers and the way they bloom, the ocean and sea, the forest, and its entire Earth.
This year is a transformation year for everyone, for the world itself. The Earth gives to us endlessly. Karmic transformations are happening all of the time. These are the things that we do not see or do not focus on it. We do not think about it happening, it just appears, and we think about how beautiful it is. Is it not beautiful here? Is it not beautiful the way everything happens here?
If you look close enough you can find beauty in everything. I look for the beauty in my experiences. Once I move past the pain of the experience and sometimes through the pain, I can see and feel the beauty of the higher Divine message of my experiences.
2020 was a big cosmic year that kicked off what would begin major life transformations for everyone, some more than others. Major planetary transits have been happening since 2020. There is a transit that has not happened for over 156 years, and it happened this year. Therefore, the world is going through a major transformation. Outdated systems are being torn down to rebuild anew. These changes are happening for you, for us, and for the collective. It is all happening for our highest good. If everything remained the as it is, we would never grow.
In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity ~Sun Tzu
"Pluto is a planet of contradiction. It represents creation and destruction. It tears down things that are no longer working and replaces the outdated ways of thinking with evolutionary views. It also represents renewal and rebirth, www.refinery29.com/en-us/2022/02/10833656/us-pluto-return-astrology-explained "
Everyone you know is going through a life transformation. Everyone you know is also going through something and doing their best to make something in their lives better. It all happens within and then shows as it manifests in our behavior and our life experiences. Uncomfortable situations are exposed for our healing so that we can be completely free of whatever it is. What has not been brought to the surface can never heal.
I live in the present moment so that I do not live past painful experiences repeatedly in my head subsequently manifesting them again in my physical experiences. I aim to be a conscious co-creator, to work with God, not against the Universe, being worried, doubtful and exhibiting self-sabotaging behavior.
Meditation is one of the tools that I use to practice loving myself, keep the files of my mind organized, lower stress, overcome fear, worry, depression, anxiety, and unhealthy subconscious habits, heal, and raise my vibrational frequency. There are endless benefits of meditation.
Meditation brings things that have been buried in our subconscious minds to the surface to heal. It can be an uncomfortable process, and at first, you will want to stop meditating, or you may feel like meditation does not work. If you keep going despite the challenges, the results will be rewarding. Meditation gives us a front-row view of our path. With meditation practice, we get to see through our one eye, our true eye. Whenever we close our two eyes, we observe what is on our mental screen.
The secret is that we can control what we allow on our mental screen. We have the gift of imagination and we are creators. Everything before you now was imagination first.
Through meditation, we can see and hear clearly as our senses sharpen. At times we can become more sensitive than others to conflict, and lower energies. This is why it can be a challenge for some or they believe that it’s not for them, because it exposes the uncomfortable. The brain doesn’t like being uncomfortable. Nothing heals like meditation because you are forced to go within. This is how to be real with yourself and have the highest experience of partly knowing and understanding why you are even here? I sit and I ask, "what do I need to know?"
I look into my eyes in the mirror and I ask, "what do I need to know?"
My days are dedicated to healing and practicing loving myself. The rest of my life is dedicated to this practice and I will leave this Earth with positive affirmations on my board and in my mind. Some of them are burned into my subconscious mind as I want them to be, and they have replaced many of my old outplayed negative affirmations. My internal language has changed for the better and continues to evolve for my benefit in higher experiences.
As I wrote those other blogs to you I was writing from a place of love, however, I knew that I needed some more practice in loving myself. I look at everything that happens, everywhere I am as the place that I am supposed to be for my soul's progression and journey. I feel like we are here to remember who we are, our true nature, and no bs. There is sweet freedom in being real with you and being the real you.
We can’t bs the Universe, we can't sneak our way into the flow of the vortex. We cannot fake gratitude. We must do the inner work to have a seat at the Universal table. We can hide and disguise ourselves from everyone else when we are only deceiving ourselves. We are here to elevate our spiritual consciousness to higher levels as we pay karmic debts, live in joy and grief at times, and most of all learn and elevate higher from our experiences. We are here re-member how to love ourselves deeply and completely.
Re- means to do something again, to re-member, you must have known before. We never forget anything, our subconscious mind is a recording device remembering everything that we encounter and experience.
I know that we experience the same feelings and emotions, as we are all connected. Whenever you choose to vibrate on a higher frequency you are on the same frequency with everyone else and everything else that is doing the same. This means you have access to all of the things in your vortex because you are aligned with them. The same is for the opposite.
I am careful where I allow my vibrational frequency to be as I understand that at every moment I am manifesting whether I want to and whether I am conscious of it, or not.
There is not a moment when we are not manifesting. If we are always manifesting, we may as well be vibrating with what we want.
We are going to get whatever we are. Whatever we are being at any given moment is giving us what we are putting out, what we need. It is in those moments that we come to revelations, we begin to awaken and unravel out of our web of fears. The process of unlearning. It was right for us at that time but now it is time to release it with love.
We cannot have what we are not aligned with, we are unable to reach it. We are unable to have it in peace if we are afraid of it. We have to feel like we deserve what we want. We say that we deserve the good and wonderful things in life but we are unaware of the ways that we subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves from getting to the good parts.
The ego will lie to you to keep you comfortable but is unable to repair you when life's challenges come with the truth. It will tell you that there is nothing that needs to change, that it is someone else's fault, and it will keep you stagnant until you are forced to move. It will convince you that it is the best way to handle it, only for you to be faced with regret later. It will tell you not to trust anyone, and that you don't need anyone. You can do this all alone, right?
There is a key balance when it comes to the ego, it feels so real when it is nothing more than a false sense of self. However nothing was given to us by mistake, our ego serves a Divine purpose and is a gift actually because it is the belief in this character that accomplishes and achieves so many wonderful things.
We are here to return to our true nature, to live in our truth, and to detach from it all, the whole illusion of it all. We live in a web, a cycle that never ends, just extends beginning, again and again, to evolve our spirit higher and higher.
The love which we seek outside of ourselves needs to be the love that we give to ourselves. There is no fulfilling love that you will ever find outside of you. When you love yourself correctly, it doesn't matter who doesn't love you, you know that it is important that you love yourself more than anything.
I ask myself, "did I do that in love?" "Did I write that from a place of love?" "Did I say it from a place of love?" "Did I go there in love?" Was my energy there filled with love? There are only 2 ways in which we vibrate, and that's either love or fear. There is also a neutral vibration, however, love and fear are the dominant ones. Which one dominates you? Within our thoughts, words, and behavior, the question is, where are you vibrating from? Frustration, anger, sadness, stress, anxiety, and depression all stem from fear.
How do we stop vibrating from fear? How do we vibrate away from fear?
With the opposite of fear, with love, in love.
Whenever we operate in love, we move more consciously with care for ourselves and others. We become more aware and thoughtful about what we are thinking, speaking, and feeling, as well as what our behavior is like with others. However we are with ourselves, we will be with others.
We heal all things with love. Whenever you send love and blessings to things, situations, and people you are sending out something big that will return to you. Whatever we appreciate, appreciate, and flourish. What we criticize depreciates and dies.
With every death there is rebirth, a lesson learned, and a course completed.
I work for true change. I do the inner work for real, reveal, and heal. As I heal, others around me begin to heal too. It's so contagious and I love it. These days, I do more allowing. Allowing what comes, to come and what goes to go. Allowing and trusting the Universe and Divine plan to guide me, having me in the right places at the right time to bring me wonderful opportunities and experiences. Allowing whatever that comes to me in meditation and in life to come and go gracefully. I allow myself to choose a different response than I would normally choose, and whenever I don't and I am triggered by anything, I don't criticize myself. I allow myself to feel and space to heal the emotion, the incident. I allow things to fall completely apart so that they can fall back together, stronger and corrected.
I allow whatever to be what it is, but I do not criticize myself under any circumstance.
Are you willing to change for true change? Do you believe that it can change? Change may seem impossible, yet one must change and evolve to higher consciousness to live their highest dreams and experiences. Besides, it feels good to live in free-flowing energy, with no restrictions, no resistance held in your energy, just being in a state of love.
It's easy to say that we are changing and I believe we truly want to change. Whenever we change temporarily, we get comfortable with the small improvements that we see, then we return to our old habits. We do this again and again, and it begins to seem impossible to choose differently.
We may think that some things are too hard to change, that these things keep defeating us, yet we are unaware of the subconscious programming that is running the show within us. If we don't like our outcomes and would like a different experience, our subconscious mind has to be reprogrammed to align us with these experiences.
We want better experiences, higher experiences of love, good relationships, and many joyful adventures, yet the fear that goes on within us keeps us away from it. We become the things that we focus on in fear, we bring them closer, manifesting them into fruition. We express things as stress when it is just saying that we are afraid. We use the word "stress" because it makes us feel better than saying all of what it is. Plus it is no one else’s business what we have going on, so we use the word stress to express our challenges in life. It is one of the many words that I have kicked out of my vocabulary. I am careful of any words that I speak after the affirmation, "I am..." Whatever we say following the statement, "I am" is a representation of God. I am that I say that I am.
"I am who I am", "I will become what I choose to become", "I am what I am", "I will be what I will be", "I create what(ever) I create", or "I am the Existing One". Hebrew Proverb
"And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am:" Exodus 3:14
"Everything we speak is an affirmation." Louise Hay
When you understand that everything that you speak is an affirmation, you begin to carefully watch the words that you speak. Whatever we speak was in our spirit first, as it entered our mind, and was spoken out of our mouths. Everything here is a process. Whenever I am challenged through difficulties and say something out of frustration and lower emotion, as I recognize my state, I immediately say, "I take back every thought, word, and vibration that was sent out from my me into the Universe, and I release it with love as it is to never return.
I look to be completely present with all of my thoughts, words, and behavior ensuring that they align with each other. It is to live real and progressive experiences when our thoughts match our words, feelings, and behavior. Some days I have a struggle inside of me as I deal with challenges that come with the process of healing my body. I healed from guilt and regret, beating myself up, and saying what I shave known or should have done. I stopped looking at life as if my decisions made me look foolish and started examining why I was making those decisions in the first place. What was the higher message?
I practice being aware of my mental state at all times.
Yes, I could have done this or that, I was doing and being who I was from my level of consciousness. I was doing the best I knew how and that is all I ever do. We are all always doing the best that we can with the knowledge that we have. I have no judgment or criticism for anyone including myself. We want to remember what all of this is, what it means, and where did we come from?
I understand us, I can see myself in you, as I see myself in me.
It is to be gentle with ourselves, to be forgiving, caring, and loving ourselves.
"There is no difficulty that enough love could not conquer. There is no disease that enough love will not heal. No door that enough love will not open. No gulf that enough love will not bridge. No wall that enough love will not throw down and no sin that enough love will not redeem."
When I write my blogs, you are in my heart, as I aim to handle you with care. To have one's full attention is powerful and of the highest respect, and I am grateful for yours.
I am writing about love because it’s been healing me too. I truly believe love can heal anything. Love heals you.
I am sending BIG love to you all. I am grateful for you all!
Infinite Love always,
The Power of Meditation...
There’s a way to defend anxieties, depression, pain, heartbreak, resentment, and any other deceptacon that's blocking your way. I say blocking your way since all that we experience happens from within. There is a way to clean, rinse, and repeat in resetting your mind, and getting over" it," whatever "it" is.
The first time I sat on the mat years ago I was eager, yet in a mind of wondering would meditation work. I didn't realize that purposefully and consciously watching my mind would change so much about what I thought about, what I was to do, and who I am. Meditation brought me to my truth and continues to show me truths giving me direction.
When I first began meditating, I couldn’t fold my legs to cross them because my body was in excruciating pain from lupus. Inside I was crying out for help because I didn't realize that a body could hurt so much. My body was unbelievably hurting, and I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to heal. When we are seeking of healing and freeing ourselves, there is a powerful energy that we align with. What we are seeking, placing clues in our path, even thoughts and ideas that come to us come faster and continuously. It's a faucet that never turns off, that is never depleted. What you are seeking is seeking you.
I sat and googled, "how to heal naturally?" On each article, with every search, meditation made the list. I didn't know anything about meditation, it was okay though, because I was determined to learn as much about it as I could. Meditation will have you healing things that you didn't know needed to be healed. Meditation brings you to forgiving. When you tap into the vibrational frequency that you reach during meditation, you know that there is something different for you, much higher experiences.
Meditation is a healer. It digs beneath the surface of your most "protected layers, as it works its way through, grabbing all that needs to heal, pulling it up to the light. It makes you remember that you are the light, and it is not just okay, it's necessary that you let your big light shine. We don't dwell in this experience forever; I live to engulf the taste of each day. And if everyone you love woke up this morning, it is a good day. Because the time comes when one of those people that you love doesn't wake up, the day won't feel good at all.
When I sit for morning meditation, I give gratitude for breathing, we don't live without breathing, yet we underestimate, and ignore the breath, our breath. We never have to think about where our next breath is coming from. We just expect to breathe, and we will all agree that there is an abundance of breaths for us, so we never think about this. We don't worry about our breath; we trust the Infinite gift of breath to take care of our breath.
We are abundant in breathing as everything on this Earth is abundant. Abundance has always been here for us, it's up to us to tap in, and align with the abundance that's here for us. To recognize it and appreciate it as we are aware of its presence in our experiences. I give thanks for my experiences, my life, for feeling safe, for the people that I love and that love me, for having more than I need each day, for feeling good, and for who I am, the list goes on as I bask in this kind of gratitude.
Each time that I have abandoned or put off meditation, I made big decisions out of fear. I couldn't see my way clearly. I was driven by fear because fear was ingrained in my mind as a response to what seemed problematic. You never know how much fear that you're acting off of when doing so is normal for you. Prolonged fear brings imbalance, misalignment, moving us further away from our true nature, and the Supreme power that lives within us. Fear brings near everything that you don't want.
I take no days off from meditation. I stay close to my mind, thinking about what I am thinking, and how I am feeling. I don't do this to judge myself, I do this to be aware of myself, my thoughts, and what's happening inside of me at any given moment. Meditation really happens when you're off the mat. It's easier to be at peace sitting alone with yourself in a peaceful environment, than it is to remain in peace when you are presented with chaotic things.
It is important to not let anything take over or interfere with you getting done, what needs to be done. Stay in the flow of things, aware of where the current is taking you, remembering that out of every experience, there is something for our highest good happening. We have all said, if this didn't happen, that wouldn't have happened, and vice versa. Yet it all happened to elevate our consciousness in some kind of profound manner.
The hand position that I began with many years ago was one of Buddha’s mudras, the “dhyana”. It brings balance to the right and left sides of the body. I went with the mudra that came to my spirit, and I used it for years. I began studying and learning about the power of our hands, and how these mudras aid us in healing. The dhyana is known to bring you more awareness, expanding your consciousness. It spiritually awakes you as it quiets the mind.
With the left hand on the bottom and right hand on top, you connect your thumbs as they touch each other.
(For women left hand on bottom. For men right hand on bottom).
The mudra that I am using in this video is the "gyan" mudra. This mudra is known to increase mental strength, concentration, and improve focus. It aids memory, improving the nervous system, and the pituitary gland function. This particular mudra helps one through the process of meditation. It helps expand your knowledge and calms anxieties. Gyan mudra brings the mind to harmony and deepens your meditation experience. It helps you sleep; you can use this hand position to guide you into sleeping. It gives much more just like they all do.
Mudras connect our fingers to the elements, with each finger representing fire, ether, air, water, and earth. I plan to write more about the power of mudras to you in the future.
Gyan mudra: the tip of your thumb and index finger are touching each other.
Meditation doesn't have to include these hand mudras. Any way you place your hands, just placing them face down or face up on your thighs signify a mudra position and physiological and physical changes in your body. We come here well prepared and well equipped with everything that we need.
You don't have to sit on the floor with your legs crossed, meditation can be done lying down in bed, sitting in a chair, in the shower, just about anywhere. Before I had the courage of sitting on the mat to meditate, I felt like I wouldn't be able to make it through 5 minutes, and I did. I gained my confidence through 1-minute meditations at the top of the hour each day. I started feeling calmer and started looking forward to the next hour. As good as it was working, I knew that I needed more.
If you want to know the answers, to change your vibration, to get rid of a bad habit, to heal, to forgive, to let go, to change the course of your life, to constantly work on you, to be in touch with the inner you, to be kinder to you, truly loving you, meditation is for you.
So much junk can go into our mind, and we don't realize the energies that we pick up during the day. We pick up on thoughts and feelings that don't even belong to us. We have to stand guard of our mind every day. How do you speak to your inner self? What do you say?
You can only be in one place
at a time, so embrace the
Power of your Mind,
it can only be with You in one place
at a time, You cannot leave it
You can go anywhere You want,
and still cannot go away from the Mind.
You show them your mind, they will know what rules you.
The Infinite is chilling within you,
waiting on you to chill too.
Thanks for reading and supporting,
If I don’t clear my mind…. I will be...
You can love yourself and they won’t love you.
You don't love yourself and they will love you.
Or maybe they won't love you because you don't love you, instead you're sending a vibrational signal of desperation. And when a narcissist or a person out of alignment with the Divine within themselves pick up on the vibrational energy of you not loving yourself, they know that they can take full advantage of you. They don't feel remorseful about it, because this is how they have always survived. They don't understand love or Universal law.
Nothing is guaranteed. There is someone who will love you with a broken heart because they see that your heart is beautiful. They will love you for you, not trying to change anything about you. They will see qualities in you that you don’t see in you. They will want to love you. That’s real love. Someone will take your broken heart and mend it, healing it, and showing you real love, not love that is confusing, unavailable to show up, and non-committed.
When you begin to practice loving yourself, you learn to stop judging yourself, and being hard on yourself. Life is hard enough, give yourself a break. And for once or twice, be proud of yourself, look at how far you've come, look at the BS that you have made it through.
Love is most powerful as it heals all. Love will keep you alive longer and make your journey lighter. Love is the highest vibrational energy available to us. To manifest love in your heart, you must first give yourself permission to feel and experience love. You have to learn to trust it, and you do so by loving yourself first. When you love yourself first, you're not going to put up with that drama, uncertainty, and mind games. Your energy must be focused on tour intention, leaving no doubt or confusing message to the Universe that you will indeed create it.
When you practice not loving yourself, you will self-sabotage situations where someone is trying to love you. You won't be able to identify love because of your great wall. Because you have lost all hope in love, you feel like when things are going too good, something is going to go wrong. When we have been scarred, used, bamboozled, we don't ever want to feel that way again, so we build a wall in front of our heart. Then here comes the person that is trying to love you, yet they have to chisel away at your great wall. Imagine how exhausting that is, yet someone who wants to be with you, will do it for you.
When I was first married, I didn’t practice loving myself or taking care of myself. I was never taught self-care. I almost didn’t believe that my husband loved me. I questioned his love, because I questioned loving myself. I sure didn't treat myself like I was loving myself, putting everyone else ahead of me. And because of a past experience in a relationship when someone said that they loved me and wanted only me while he slept with everyone around me, any woman that he could get his hands on, yet he would not leave me alone. That's a sick person, a narcissist that will probably never get help. I was left to heal from that, and I had my guard up, never committing to anyone until I was in a relationship with my husband. In the beginning, I wasn't fully committed, because I didn't trust love. It didn't make it better that I saw terrible examples of love in other people's relationships. I had to learn to keep my eye on my own paper.
This toxic relationship put me in a position of mistrusting people in my life and people who were trying to come into my life. This lowered my expectations, not expecting commitment, and real love. But I healed.
My husband had a difficult time loving me and it was almost like he had to prove his love to me.
I had to get it together. I had to turn my eyes inside of me. I wanted to be trusting in love and realize that everyone isn't the same. There are people who will love you for you, it just becomes a whole lot easier for them to do, when you love you.
You can run off a good person who has to prove themselves to you. You are wanting them to post you on social media and let you post them on social media. Hey, I love social media, yet I can tell you from experience that it’s good when people don’t know much of your private life.
They will try to ruin it if there’s a slight opening. The evil eye is always open. Protect your relationships, protect yourself, and protect your love. There will come a time when you will be able to share your relationships with others and on social media, and you will know when that time comes.
Truly I wasn’t planning on writing about this. This just fell on my heart while I was sitting in bed thinking about the people in my life that want a good relationship and deserves love, and all the good stuff.
I literally want to create the right person for them and sit them right in front of them. I know people who are the most loving and devoted people that you will ever meet, and they just want a solid partner to build with. I want the people I love to be happy. I want everyone to be happy, but that's not how life works.
The value of loving yourself gives you the ability to identify and protect yourself from the people who don’t. You won’t take any old crap that’s being thrown at you. You will recognize the lies, the red flags ahead of time. You will be able to see through a ruse, and most importantly, you will walk away without feeling like a fool.
Don’t ever be ashamed of being played the fool. There’s even an old school song by The Main Ingredient about this, “Everybody plays the fool, sometimes, no exception to the rule.” If you’ve never heard it, look it up. It’s a beautiful song.
I know how it feels to be embarrassed when everyone knew but you how someone was playing you for a fool. You shouldn’t be embarrassed, you’re the loyal one. They should be embarrassed for doing what they did, but they don’t, because you have a lot of narcissists out here. I am writing more on narcissists later on. These kinds of people never feel real remorse. Or maybe you didn't know, it doesn't matter, that's still not a reason to be embarrassed about it. Some people are professional liars and they have had years of practice.
I am equal opportune lover, I expect what I give, and if the relationship isn’t reciprocating, then I remove myself from it. I won’t beg anyone to love me. I won’t convince them to love me. I won't try to bargain with them to love me. I won’t pretend to be someone other than myself for them to love me. I am going to be me, 24/7 be me.
And I won’t require someone to change the shell of themselves for me. It just means that they’re not for me, and that’s okay. Because I truly believe the saying, “there’s someone for everybody.” We don’t require the same things. But one thing’s for sure, we all want respect and real love.
I truly believe that everything is energy and that’s how I look at everything as energy. And I mean everything.
This Venus retrograde has love on my mind. Venus retrograding forces us to take a hard look at all of our relationships. And it pushes us to eliminate what no longer serves us. Retrogrades are about revisiting, and we revisit the past relationships that need to be worked on or cut completely from our lives.
It’s the same thing with Mercury retrograde, although Venus is a lot tougher on our relationships. During a Venus retrograde, a few years back, I was involved in a budding friendship that went left quickly. I took responsibility for any energy that I brought to the relationship as I was going through a difficult time. It was the first time that I was having difficulties with my kidney transplant, and my doctor told me that I didn’t have long to live. This sent me spiraling and I had to catch myself. It’s a tall order to be friends with someone dealing with a chronic illness. She never felt like she did anything out of alignment or took responsibility, that's okay, I do what The Most High leads me to do. I always clear my slate.
I believe that everything happens for a good reason, and I wait as The Most High reveals that reason to me. Some people don’t deserve you in their life, that’s why The Great Spirit removes them.
When people are removed from your life, you are being protected by a greater power that can see far beyond the road then you can. There’s a power that is saving you from greater hurt that might shatter you to pieces. And a lot of our hearts can’t take too many more breaks. Some people’s heart is being held together by a thread, and they need healing. They're not healing they are just holding on, restricting. Heart attacks are said to come from the joy being sucked out of you, out of your life.
This Mercury retrograde brings back old lovers like you left something. And if you do get back together with them, trying it again, you will find that the relationship will begin to sour around February 3rd when Mercury goes stationary. There will be a post phase of Mercury that lasts for two weeks of Mercury going stationary, February 17th. You may be experiencing relationship issues with someone now, don't give it too much energy and attention, because feelings will change after this retrograde. There is nothing to fear about these retrogrades, they help improve our lives.
"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit." Bernard Williams
You have the spirit to open your heart to love again. It's just when you align with love, love travels to you. Gravity is the Universal force of attracting everything that vibrates together, that vibrates the same. This means when you vibrate on a love frequency, you will literally vibrate love towards you.
Relationships fail because people fail to see themselves. I am going write on this topic further in the future. I always say, "people don't see themselves." It's so much easier to see the other person and so much harder to turn your eyes inward to see you. This is why we are always pointing the finger outward while not taking responsibility for the part we play. What do you ignore? What do you ignore within you? What do you know about yourself that needs healing, that needs inner work, instead you're ignoring it, you won't take a good look at it? You are surviving this way, and it just jumbles up everything when you're faced with relationships. Because, if you ignore tending to your own needs, nature, and feelings on the inside. You will surely overlook the same things in other people.
Whatever we feel about love will surely show up in our lives. If we feel unlovable, it will be a hard road to love. If we break free from situations that don't define real love, we create space for someone who will love us to come into our lives. If we keep complicated relationships in our lives, non-committing, disloyal, we are telling the Universe that it's exactly what we want, what we are looking for.
Take care of yourself, so you can take care of your health, then you will always be able to take care of yourself. There is nothing that you can do without your health. Love on you like you love on everyone else. Love you the way you love them, give yourself the love that you give away so freely.
I'll tell you this, people recognize when you love and care for yourself.
And the answer is no. No to anything that doesn't align with your heart's desires, anything that you don't want to do, or don't want for you.
Thank you for reading, I can go on and on, so I am thinking of doing a part 2. Let me know what you think in the comments.
Infinite love you,
Blissed Are Those Who Understand the Power of Letting Go...
They are blissed because they have figured out which golden key unlocks the door of happiness.
Happiness only comes when we learn to let go of the things that make us unhappy. Yes, it’s that simple. Because if we are unhappy without, surely, we will be unhappy with. The more we let go, the happier we'll get. In order to be happy, there can be nothing holding you down. There is a thin line, and you make the choice.
We have to sacrifice for what we want and need, sometimes making huge and uncomfortable sacrifices. You don’t get anything without giving up something. There is no such thing as something for nothing. Do you want to hold onto the hurt and pain, or do you want to enjoy pure happiness? Because you can't do both.
Do you feel like happiness is attainable?
Do you feel like happiness is real?
Do you feel like you deserve happiness?
Those 3 questions are important to answer, because you must know how you feel about happiness before attaining it. Do you feel like something is bound to go wrong when everything feels like it's going right? Do you self-sabotage when things are going right, because right doesn't feel normal to you? We self-sabotage without knowing that we are doing so. When grow up through trauma it's hard to be happy without thinking something is going to go badly for us. It is such a stressful way to be, sometimes manifesting unpleasant things.
For example: You are in a romantic relationship where everything is going great. You begin looking for holes in the relationship. Then you may look for deceit in the individual that you're involved with, start a petty argument, or you drudge up old memories and situations where you were treated badly and betrayed, comparing your current situation. Your mind may get the best of you creating scenarios that are not true. You may even pick someone that you know won't be the best for you. You may be doing these things subconsciously and if that is the case, then you have to reprogram your subconscious mind. This is what my life is about, I work on reprogramming my subconscious mind every day.
You look for the wrongs instead of enjoying the rights because you won't let go of the wrongs of the past. Your faith is broken in relationships because of how you trusted, was treated and was hurt in the past.
Well, this is important for you to know. We get more of what we feel, what we believe, and what we give our attention to. So, if it's already set in your mind that your relationships go sour, then that's what you'll get every time. This is how our subconscious programming works. It gives you more of what you believe. It gives you more of what you think about. Where your energy goes is where your experiences will go.
This why learning to let go is vital to our lives and to living a good life.
I didn't know that this was a problem for me, I wasn't aware how it was a challenge for me to let go until I actually tried to let some hurtful experiences go instead of pushing them to the back of my mind.
Once you understand that happiness is a choice, then you will know that it’s up to you to choose it or not. You get the gift of choosing how you want to feel. But you must know that your happiness is determined by your ability to let go.
If you look at your life, you will see that it’s a series of letting go, over and over again. And sometimes we have to let go of the same thing again and again. We go and pick these things back up again, sometimes over and over again, after we have worked so hard to free ourselves of them. It doesn't matter how many times you have to begin again, do that, begin again, again, and again. It is beautiful and encouraging that we get to live to have another chance to begin again. There are no rules to letting go or beginning again.
How many times have you picked it back up?
How many times have you forgiven them?
How many times have you had to forgive yourself for the same thing?
Do you keep having to forgive yourself again and again for the same hurtful experiences?
When I retired early from my career due to my health problems, I decided to use the time that I had to figure out me, learn about me, and how to get myself healthy naturally. Because I was going in the wrong direction to get myself to the point where I was.
I was led to learn about me and the habits of my personality that was keeping me away from my heart’s desires. I haven't stopped learning about who I can be and what do I need to let go of?
Is it people, situations, my habits, what needs to go so that I can live a more fulfilling life?
“I kept having the most painful experiences that were hard to let go, seemingly impossible to forget, it seemed impossible for me to let go of it.”
I had to think back when I was a child and I remember that if you betrayed me in any kind of way, I would never forgive you. If you said something to me that hurt me, I was completely done with you. If you did something to hurt me, it was nothing for me to see you burn into pieces in my mind.
I went to church and had to sit on the front row with all the rest of the children. Yet I missed the message of forgiveness. I felt like, “why would I forgive you when you are doing things to me that I would never do to you?” I felt like, "why would you terrorize a child like they don't have important feelings, you're not thinking about how you're hurting me, so why should I care about you?"
I have always been one to stay to myself. I am a loner even though I don't appear that way. I surely have never set out to intentionally hurt another. Although I have said hurtful things to people, I haven’t set out to intentionally harm anyone. I have only responded in a hurtful manner when the person has approached me in a hurtful manner.
It was my mother who saw my unforgiving spirit and quickly set me straight. She asked me why didn't I forgive people? She said, “you do know that you are supposed to forgive people?” Before I could say no to her question. She said, “holding onto whatever they have done to you is only going to hurt you,” she gave me bible scriptures to read on forgiveness.
“Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21, 22.
You may not believe in the Bible, yet if you read into this scripture on forgiveness, you become to understand that forgiveness is for you.
I am grateful that my mom was there to set me straight about forgiveness among other things that she corrected in me. Because surely, I had set up my mind to be unforgiving forever and it is a strong attribute in my natal chart. The problem with being unforgiving is that you become that way with yourself too.
I had to come to a clear understanding that whenever I forgave someone, I was forgiving myself too. I no longer had to carry around the heavy burden of pain or shame in allowing them to fool me. That’s why I was really mad. Because I am saying to myself, how did I allow them to do that to me in the first place? Revenge wasn’t far from my mind. I had enough anger in me to start a riot when someone wronged me.
Kuyeke Kuhambe are the words in Zulu that I had tattooed on my right forearm. The words mean to "let it go." At the time, I couldn't let go of the memories that helped me get into major health problems. I couldn't forgive the doctor who led me to take an unnecessary test that led me to greater health problems which I am still paying for to this day. Those doctors didn't have to pay, but I am. This is why I always say to make your own decisions from the inner voice of your gut, because you sure will be the only one paying for them and having to look as you live the consequences through.
I had to reach a place of peace if I wanted to live in peace. If I wanted the doors of happiness to open for me, I had to let it go all that made me unhappy.
You can't say that you'll be happy when. You must be happy now, and live in a vibration of being happy, in order for the things that vibrate happiness to come into your experience.
There were so many unwarranted and unfair things done to me in this lifetime that I searched inside of me for what I had done to deserve these painful circumstances. I wondered if I did something cruel in a past lifetime. We begin to search for whys when terrible things happen for us, but do we search for the whys when the awesome things happen for us.
We have to make space for our blessings, as we have to be in a space for our blessings. We have to be focused on what we want manifested while it is waiting on us. Everything that you are seeking is seeking you. It wants you and is waiting on you. Most of the time, it is waiting for us to let go of the petty things, the things that we cannot erase, and the things that we have no control over.
I still struggled with regret, and why did I let this happen? Letting go seemed to be the hardest thing for me to do.
It wasn't until I met meditation that I truly got a real feeling of being free from what has been holding me back. What have I been holding onto? Everything that was ever done to hurt me, to wrong me, I had a strong memory, and I would never forget. Now I have forgotten so many things that it's like I have memory loss. I forget now on purpose, misunderstandings, mistreatment, situations, words, arguments, people, offenses, backstabbing, rumors, losses, lies, stabs, shots, and anything that interrupts me feeling good inside. I know for sure that nothing matters more than me feeling good. If I want to enjoy my health, I have to feel good. If I want to enjoy my wealth, I must feel good. If I want to be happy, I must feel good. And if I got to let you go or let it go to feel good, then so be it. It is gone.
I will never forget the words of Ester Hicks, "All that matters is that I feel good."
Please tell me what matters more than that, because getting anything done, especially in a spectacular way, depends on the way you feel.
My peace, my happiness, is priceless, although I will pay anything for it.
Thank you for being a part of my tribe,
A Changed Life...
Last year on this date my life changed forever. It's not the first time that I experienced a major life change, and just like the other times, I had no idea what I was about to go through. A lot of no's would have saved me. I was just trying to save myself and do what was best for me. I was in the hospital from November 27th until December 31st, 2020. I went to the Emergency Room because I was vomiting non-stop. This was dangerous for me being a transplant patient, and when I arrived, I was dehydrated.
I was transferred to what was supposed to be a more equipped hospital. The things that happened to me at that hospital are the reason for every photo that was in my video snippet. What made it worse about being in this hospital is that I had never been there before, it was a long way away from my home, and my family couldn't be with me for 2 weeks because of COVID-19 hospital policy. I was going through pain, sickness, and confusion exhausted without the people who care for me. I could hardly use my right hand because both of my arms were swollen from infections. I was only there to get a treatment called plasmapheresis.
I literally have been fighting for my life all year of 2021. I have been hospitalized every month since March all stemming from the hospital stay that began on November 27th. On Christmas I was told that I had 4 days to live, was given a choice to resuscitate or not, and I was recommended to go to hospice or for hospice to come to me. I strongly declined hospice. They kept asking, I kept declining. I wasn't dying and one thing I know for sure in dealing with illness is that our bodies are always moving towards a state of healing, doing everything to save us. My mind was damaged from the trauma that I had experienced, yet my faith was unbelievably strong.
This was the third hospital that I was transferred to, they were trying to clean me up from all the infections that I accumulated at the other hospital. I was there for 3 weeks. I literally walked out of that hospital against doctor's orders because I feared for my life. The kidney doctor tried to force me to state and sign paperwork saying that I was going to die if I didn’t take the treatments that he advised. I told him, “Dr…. You know I am too spiritual of a person to ever say those words. I won’t speak those words over my life, and I am definitely not signing any paperwork that says that.
The doctor wouldn't believe that my arms and chest were infected, he denied me the necessary medications. I had to demand that all of the ports that they put in me be removed. They wouldn't give me a wheelchair, I walked out on my own 2 feet after not walking for a month. I could barely breathe, I was full of fluid, I couldn't fit my shoes, but I was getting out of that hospital and getting myself to safety.
It is amazing how magnificent God made us, the ancestor fighting within us, and the resilience to survive against seemingly impossible odds.
I was septic, had an unexplainable gigantic hematoma on the right side of my body that happened while I was under for a procedure. It was impossible to lie on my right side. My blood levels were dropping dangerously low every day because I was bleeding internally.
I had infected lines in my arm and chest bringing about blood clots and infected fluid in my body. I was burned during a procedure leaving a hole in between my neck and chest. I had fluid in my lungs, around my heart, and in my heart pocket. I had pneumonia. When I asked doctors what happened to me, the response I got was silence.
I began fasting while I was in the hospital. I fasted drinking only water for 3 days, followed by drinking only herbal teas for 5 days. Once I was home, I ate blueberries, grapes, and apples with herbal teas and tinctures for 60 days. I lost 30 pounds in fluid from fasting in less than 2 weeks. I also lost a great deal of weight that wasn't fluid leaving me underweight. I spoke to the herbalist that was helping me about the concern for my weight, and he said that I would gain all of the weight back once I was better.
Once I was home all of my kidney numbers improved, and doctors were baffled. When I went to the hospital, I weighed 113, when I left, I was 153 pounds in fluid. When a catheter was placed in my chest, I had an adverse reaction where fluid began to accumulate in my stomach and chest. Doctors didn't understand what was happening. Then the catheter became infected, and before it was removed, my body was grossly blown up with fluid.
I managed to get all of the fluid off of me at home through fruit fasting and dry fasting. However, a month later, my kidney numbers began to rise and doctors were puzzled about how they got out of whack so fast. My blood pressure was high and not responding to medications. It was discovered that I had a spine infection, osteomyelitis stemming from the infected catheter that was placed in my leg before. I couldn’t walk for a month, I was in excruciating pain, and I was treated horribly by some of the nurses at the hospital. The pain of it was surreal.
Much of what happened to me in the hospital was because I was not believed.
In June, the same reaction happened to me from another catheter that was placed in my chest. Doctors believed that I only had swelling because the previous catheter was infected. This was not true, and I had to demand that it be removed so that I could start losing the fluid that accumulated for the 3 days that I had it. Again, here I was with 30 plus pounds of fluid added onto my body.
In August I almost lost my life.
I had a fluid overload in and around my lungs that had to be syphoned out through my back. It was from the fluid overload in June that was caught up in my lungs and in my heart pocket. I couldn’t talk, I couldn't explain to the Emergency staff what was happening to me, because I literally couldn’t breathe. In all honesty, I thought it was a wrap for me.
A month ago, I had to have emergency surgery on my arm. A nurse unknowingly hit the blood clot in my arm that I had since December while trying to put in an IV, causing it to grow larger with fluid surrounding it, swelling my arm and the pain, sheesh, was surreal. My arm formed a large bubble at the IV site so they removed it.
At the time of it happening, I didn't know that something was wrong, I just knew that my arm was in terrible pain. I remember crying all the way home from the hospital. I had to take medication and elevate my arm to sleep. I couldn't believe the pain that I was feeling, and at the time no one knew that a blood clot had been hit.
As the days went by, my arm wasn't improving, just swelling more as I tried the ice pack that the nurse gave me before I left the hospital. I couldn't straighten it. One day I tried changing my clothes, having to bend and straighten my arm, and my bicep began to move around shifting up and down, it was extremely painful. I tried holding my muscle in place, and it left my finger prints in my arm. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew that I needed to go to the Emergency room immediately.
I was in excruciating pain for over 20 hours before I was taken to surgery. My arm is still healing, my bicep still swells, and it becomes painful if I use my arm a lot. I have been rehabbing my arm back to health.
There is so much more that happened between all of this, and this itself is a lot. I have fought my battles head on. I've been told that I was going to die a hundred times. I was fed up with doctors coming into my room saying how I was going to die so I started telling them, "You know you're going to die too?" They never had an answer. Yea that's what I thought.
There was a nurse who came by my room every day that she was at work, she would say to me, "Allah has the final say."
No one can scare me with death. I have faced death's door and walked right through it. I can remember when my heart wasn't beating right, I couldn't take a full breath, when I couldn't sleep, and was awake for days at a time. I can remember looking in the mirror and not recognizing my face. I want to forget all the silly and hurtful things that people said to me.
I want to walk away from the people who said hurtful things to me. It disconnected me from people in a way that I have never felt before. The thoughtless things that people complained about to me became unbearable. I am not as easily accessible now, and I know that some people care, it's just the people that pretend to care that you have to watch out for. This is not a game, this is my life, this is your life, don't let anyone half-hang onto you, half-support you when it's convenient for them, and half-be in your life. One thing’s for sure, if they're not helping the situation, they are most likely hurting it.
A few people hurt me during this time, but the pain wasn't like any experience that I had before. I knew there was a purpose for me to be faced with this, to be faced with hard-hearted people, fake people, and I needed to know the truth. When you go through troubles like this, the last thing you need around you is someone "who isn't who they say they are." You are better off knowing, it is a blessing to know.
No one knows how you feel, yet they can empathize with what you feel. You need compassion and you need it more so from yourself for yourself. I am thankful for the people that helped me, that prayed for me, that came to see me in the hospital, and the people that just listened to me. Troubled times will definitely separate the real people from the fake, they can't hide, the truth comes out.
So, when I say I am grateful to be alive, I am not just saying it, this gratitude comes from deep within my soul. I am real about the people I love. I am demanding peace and tranquility, no drama whatsoever in my life.
You learn the true meaning of self-love. You get to see God in action. You know, you just know, even when it hurts to know, you know that it’s better for you to know.
What I have been through has changed me forever. I don't see with the same eyes or hear with the same ears. I look to enjoy my life in everything that I do. I take it easy on myself and on other people. The things that used to be a big deal to me aren't a deal at all. I see people who haven't come to understand what's important and what's not important in this life. I don't play about me anymore. I am prepared to walk away at any time. I don't leave in anger; I leave because I love me, even if you don't love me, that's fine, I value me.
I mind my words and my business.
So, when you hear me talking about God, The Most High, and my faith, know that it’s real. I couldn’t have made it to this point without faith and without God.
Infinite love to you, I thank you if you read my story. I know it can be overwhelming and I don't take you for granted.
It has taken everything out of me to share my personal story with you. It is in my heart to help someone, to tell somebody not to give up, to hold strong to your will to live. Plus, how could I not share with you how I have been protected and spared by The Most High Everlasting God.
Whatever you do, don’t let fear consume you, and when you do get scared, do it anyway. I did it when I felt unsure and sometimes, I would feel a rush of fear, I had to learn to decipher the difference between my intuition and what was fear. There was a strong force inside of me that wouldn’t let me give up and give in. It’s like this powerful force was answering for me. Follow your inner voice, speak life. Your inner voice was given to you by the Divine, so it is the truth.
I cried out to God and God heard me.
Thank you for listening to me. I am grateful for you.
If you ever have any questions or would like to book a zoom meditation with me, send me a message.
The Journey of Healing
Sometimes I see social media posts about how there are no excuses for not being where you want to be in life, there are no excuses to be "broke." There are several self-defeating words like "broke" that I've banned from my vocabulary forever, I haven't used that word in years.
There are many people who are blessed financially, yet go around saying, "I am broke,"
I guess so that no one will ask them for financial help. It doesn't matter how much money you have, being broke is a state of mind. If you make the statement, "I am broke," listen to how it makes you feel. If you are aware of yourself and when you are speaking, you would never say broke behind the powerful words of "I am." I don't care how much money I have or don't have, I will always speak wealth. I don't care what kind of condition I am in, if I look like a fool to you,
I am going to always speak health, wealth, and the improvement of it. I don't care about how many people that don't love me, that lied about loving me, I am going to always radiate love,
I am going to love me, you, and be total love.
You can never fully understand how fighting for your health can impede your life unless it happens to you. You may not understand, but you can imagine, therefore you have empathy. You really don’t know how valuable your health is until you have problems with it that changes your plans, your life, interrupting your dreams. You can’t see how everything becomes 10 times harder to do when you are dealing and healing a chronic illness.
You are unable to see how dealing with chronic illness drastically affects every aspect of your life. You aren’t able to know how hesitant you are to RSVP to important events, or how it feels to miss out on special events that you really wanted to attend because you are in too much physical and mental pain. You can't see how the person who is dealing with a chronic illness pushes past severe pain just to go, to be supportive, to show up for you, and to have a great time. And you will never know how much they pay for coming to celebrate with you, the setback, and the recovery.
It’s a major adjustment being unable to do the things that you once enjoyed. It's downright heartbreaking to be unable to do the things that you are passionate about. Your social life is drastically changed, and when you do go out, you go in discomfort and pain while you are wearing a smile, and later you will pay up for it in pain. Certain jobs you just can’t do, your energy has to be specially managed and attended to, and you have to make sure that you don’t overdo.
If you are like me, you have totally underestimated how having health problems will change you. You may have discredited the journey of where it will take you. You will get to see how many people that don’t care to try and understand you, you will hear, “there’s no excuse…”
You will hear “let me know what I can do,”
and a lot of the time it’s not true.
You will keep your painful experiences to yourself because you don’t want pity or fixing advice from someone who has never experienced it, and you don’t want to see how cold people can be.
When you are healing an illness, your money goes out differently, sometimes unforeseen expenses for emergencies. There are special foods that you must eat in order to feel good, and there are medical bills, insurance, and holistic treatments if you are able to pay for it.
You may be unable to work affecting your finances. You may want some new shoes or to buy something nice for yourself, but you have obligations for medical expenses. You need to pay bills, but you need to pay for your medicines or a medical procedure.
You will have many sleepless nights, uncomfortable, up in pain, and wondering if it will ever end.
You can’t skip days without attending to your mind, Being conscious of what you eat, drink, what’s in your mind, and the company that you keep.
You have to get used to people not understanding or being empathetic towards your situation.
Through my experiences with chronic illness my motto became, “take care of your health so that you can take care of yourself.”
Take care of yourself because when you are constantly ill, you will need help from other people. If you are like me, you don't like needing people, so take care of yourself first.
With chronic illness and pain, you can be feeling good, and then the same day or the next day you are in severe pain. With lupus, you can be in extreme pain for days or even months with the pain never letting up enough for you to feel somewhat good. Your ability to think clearly will be adversely affected when you’re in pain for long periods of time.
Above all matters, you must have the WILL to live, you must want to live. You have to do the work, to be gentle with yourself, to not regret the journey that got you here, and to eat the healthy foods even when you don't want to. You must abstain from the things that aren’t good for you, to let go of the people who aren’t good for you, to love you, and release the people who don’t love you. You must tell yourself the bloody truth.
The chaos that you go through with illness will bring order to your life. You will relish the moments where you can dance, sing, laugh, and feel alive. Through illness you become to innerstand what’s most important, you will learn to stop comparing yourself to the people who don’t have health problems.
You will learn to let people go, especially the people who want to go.
Through the scares that chronic illness can bring, the hospital mistakes, the taking dangerous medications with nasty side effects, risky procedures, you gain discernment, and learn to listen to your inner being.
You will have to learn to love the way you look, you have to embrace the changes in your outer appearance, there is no space for shallowness.
“If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.” Hippocrates
Because no one knows your body better than you, I don't care what they try to tell you, and I don't care who it is, listen to you.
There are so many wonderful things that you get to learn when you have been healing a chronic illness, things you would have never thought about researching. You get to know how forgiveness is not an option, it’s a necessity. You learn how being in a state of lower emotion for too long affects you by making your situation worse flaring you up. You come to find out that you pay for every emotion and every thought. This is wonderful to know because before chronic illness, I bet you didn't know.
You don't get the leeway and chances that other people get, you must walk a fine line.
You learn love. You learn self-care. You learn self-worth, you don’t doubt being enough, you come to know that you are more than enough. You learn to let people walk away, you are grateful for the ones who stay, the one's that don't play about life. You see your experiences as lessons. You realize healing comes by being in solitude. You are grateful for those who make you feel good. You truly value the people that’s good to you.
You practice gratitude and you stop the habit of complaining. You notice your words, you have to speak the truth. You see the inside and outside of yourself, and you know that somewhere there’s someone who’s worse off than you.
You fight off depression, anxiety, sadness, and anger.
"Please Be Patient With Me, God Is Not Through With Me Yet."
I take the path of least resistance
I do what you tell me to do
I walk to the beat of my heart
I trust what you tell me to do
I let my words come from you
When I slip and fall I remember that
I am made from you
I am guided by your words
You know what is best
You have given me the gift of a higher self
I keep faith that it is already done. What I requested is already here. I am living in it, walking in it, breathing and tasting the beauty of it, it is near. So many of us are waiting for it to be done and it is already here.
I love y’all!
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We Leave the Present Moment for an Untouchable Past and an Unforeseeable Future ...
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
As I searched my soul for a topic to write about, this topic came into my mind in the early hours of the morning. I was already awake as my head popped up and I thought, "yes we need to talk about this."
Years ago I read the book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now: A Spiritual Guide to Enlightenment," and it changed my life forever. Even though I only remember specific parts about the book, I remember most the message, and that was keep your mind in the present moment. By keeping your mind in the present moment, you wouldn't be filled with shoulda's, coulda's, and regret. At the time I was regretting a lot of my past choices. I didn't like where I was in life. I wasn't giving gratitude for just being here. I was so focused on what I thought I should have done or could have done. I would say that if I could go back in time I "woulda done so and so," how I would have done so many things differently. I wasn't looking at the fact of what's done is done.
I was speaking to my brother who was incarcerated at the time about how I was feeling, and he said to me, "You know what book you should get? The Power of Now." I bought the book as he recommended and read it, I was immersed in it, I loved it. It talks about regretting and visiting the unchangeable past and how doing so affects the present moment.
Pay close attention to your conversations throughout the day, and you will recognize how much you speak outside of the present moment. What can you do outside of the present moment? We talk about how we should have handled our money differently. We go over hurtful experiences and talk about what we would have done differently if we had another chance. We speak about relationships that went sour and what we could have done differently. We regret encountering the people that hurt us speaking about what we could have done to avoid ever meeting them. I think that's the one that gets us the most, the people that we wish we'd never met.
One bad relationship experience can seriously impair our trust for being open to meeting anyone else and letting them into our heart. It could be a friendship that goes sour and we will be singing, "no new friends." Do you know how many women that I’ve met who say that they don't have female friends or very few, due to a lack of trust for women? You know why this is? They have been burned by a so-called friend, and that's a pain that they don't ever want to feel again. It's the same thing in a relationship with a significant other, once they break the trust bond, you feel like you never knew them. You ask yourself, "How much of the relationship was a lie?" You will go crazy replaying conversations and intimate moments in your mind trying to figure out what you missed or what you should have done.
We think outside of the present moment about the past and the future. We worry about the future, about things that we need to get done, and how things will manifest. We can get anxiety about what we're going to do about certain upcoming situations. We can get filled with "what-ifs,"thinking ahead and become fearful about things that haven't happened and most likely won't happen.
How many times have you been anticipating things with fear just for them to go better than you imagined? How many times have you worried about situations that turned out perfectly for you? There was a time where I had an addiction to worrying. I prayed and worried at the same time. I couldn’t sleep at night and it wasn’t insomnia, it was worry. Some of what I worried about I brought into fruition while some of the things that I worried about never happened. Either way, I was good, I was safe, I am still here.
I monitor my thoughts and conversations to make sure that I am operating in the present moment. What can I do about something that has already happened? What can I do to control the future? I can visualize, meditate, and speak affirmations over my future instead of worrying about it, yet I still cannot control the Divine plan for me.
I have been in some terrifying situations with my health that made me revisit the past and the future continuously with uncertainty and fear. I have been filled with regret for making decisions in regards to my health that landed me in places and situations that I didn't want to be in. This year I have been fighting for my life the entire time because I went for treatment and was severely injured in the hospital. It became difficult to look at what my future would be like. Would I make it to the future with doctors constantly telling me that I was going to die?
I had to keep my mind in the present moment. I would become fearful when I would think about what my future looked like as I looked at my injured body and replayed the past in my mind of doctors telling me I was going to die if I didn’t take dangerous treatments. Then my mind would lead me to regret from going to the hospital and staying there when my insides were telling me to leave. I was just trying to get help for discomfort and I got hurt instead.
I went back to "The Power of Now." I only have power in this moment. No matter how I try to stretch my mind to the past, I am led back to the current moment for relief. There is nothing that I can do about what has already been done.
When we take ourselves out of the current moment, our subconscious mind follows us, creating from that space. Our subconscious mind gives us more of what we feel and focus on. If we focus on the past, our subconscious will give us more experiences like it because it can't determine the difference between our present moment and the past or future. If we are thinking about the future and giving it a feeling, it will manifest in how we see it. Our subconscious mind works for us and it handles 95 percent of our actions and behaviors. Whatever thought and emotion that we give it, it helps us by manifesting it, it doesn't matter if it's in the past, present, or future.
We can ruin good relationships by focusing on the past and what happened in the past, painful experiences. This is the cause of most of our arguments in relationships, some past unhealed hurtful experience. We can also hinder our future relationships by focusing on hurt that happened to us in past relationships. If we focus on painful experiences of the past, the future will give us similar situations, insinuating a cycle that we will think is our life or our fate. “If your mind carries a heavy burden of the past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
When we think and feel in the present moment, being totally present in the current moment, we are most powerful. Because our subconscious mind works solely for the present moment, that is where we hold our power for creation and manifestation. It takes conscious work not to bring up the past and become anxious about the future. If we want to create a desired future, we have to be happy about the future in the present moment. I don't know about you, but I am excited about my future. Even with all of the adversity that I face, I am excited because I am optimistic and I know the Universe is always working for us and never against us. And I will maintain a disposition like I know that. “Nothing has happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
The book helped me, yet meditation helped me even more. Meditation helps you in detaching from the past, the future, people, and painful experiences. The more I meditate the more I detach from fears, from people that hurt me, and from the past. I have been in conversation and as soon as I recognize that I am talking about a painful past experience, I'll say, "let me shift this conversation now. If I am sitting with my thoughts and I drift to the past and what I could have done instead, I bring myself out, leading my mind back to the present moment, and when I get there, I feel so much better.
I can feel my power in the present moment. I feel free from everything in the present moment, I mean being immersed in thought, feeling, and totally present in the current moment is where you’ll find peace. I find gratitude in the present moment knowing that I am alive, and I have so many wonderful things to talk about and think about in the present moment. I am not focused on the unchangeable past and I can create from the present moment. I can think clearly from the present moment. When I go to the past in my mind I am met with frustration and irritation because I find myself trying to stretch my mind and paint the past in the way that I would have liked it to go instead of letting it be. Because the past will always be the way it is and there is nothing that I can do to change that.
The present moment is a gift because I can be sure to be free in thought and feeling. I am not bound by things that I can’t control being present in the now.
Life is much more enjoyable in the now. I work out all my past mishaps and future concerns in meditation. I leave it all there and I don’t go back to visit them.
The present moment is all that we have. We don’t have the past or the future in our hands, we have no power over those times. When we think in the past we can feel exactly how we felt in that moment and start to stir up uncomfortable emotions, reliving it all, because that’s how our subconscious mind works. When we focus on the future we can become anxious about how things will turn out. Our subconscious mind gives us what we feel and more of what we keep feeling.
The secret is in the feeling.
“Die to the past every moment. You don't need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment and the fullness of Being. Feel your presence.” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
You can literally paint your future with your imagination. However you want it.
Thanks for reading and for hanging in there with me!
Infinite love to you,
Check out my blog at newdayze.com
Take the Path of Least Resistance, see where it leads you...
Lift me higher oh Lord
Keep me level to the ground
Let me flow low like water dear Lord
Help me to remember my crown
Guide me through the trenches
Pull my feet out of the sinking sand
Let me not forget that I walk in
the glory of your Divine Master plan.
What is your heart telling you? What is it telling you to do? It knows more than you do? It knows before you.
I listen as I listen, I listen as I write, I listen as I speak, what are my words saying back to me? I listen for feelings of resistance. What are my words saying back to me? I feel for what's pulling against me, for what's pushing me. I desire to know the truth, as painful as it may be to face, I need to know because it guides me to what I need to do.
It doesn't matter what other people think you should do, what people may think about you, take no "should-ing," on you. Always remember that you are the one that will live with the consequences of any decisions that you make, so those decisions are yours and yours only to make. I have made decisions based on what people told me I should do, even professionals that I sought out for help, when things didn't go as well, I was the one left living with the consequences.
This is why it is important that our heart is clean and well taken care of, because it is our guide, it tells us clearly our path. Sometimes we don't want to listen to it, because we are afraid. We are scared to make the moves that it is telling us to, it makes sure that we know the truth, even the truth that we turn a blind eye to. Where do you feel resistance?
I was speaking to one of my friends about practicing the 369 method where you write out your manifestations 3 times, then 6 times, and extensively 9 times. I told her that I felt resistance within one of my manifestations as I was writing it. It made me question my choice, my own desire as to "why is there resistance there?" I had to get to the heart of my feelings of resistance within my own words. When we are speaking, we can feel resistance if it's present. In writing words, we can feel resistance in what we're writing if it's there. We can surely feel resistance in listening to another speak, because our heart knows lies. Even if we don't want to believe it, we know when we first hear it, if it is a lie. We can feel resistance inside of us through their words and uncertainty. When we hear the truth later, we know that we heard it before. We remember the feeling that we felt before, the first feeling in our heart in our gut that told us before.
What do you feel? Whatever you feel at any given moment is your true feeling. Feelings are fleeting and they are susceptible to change. However how you feel at any given moment is your truth, it is what it is. How do you know what you're feeling about a particular situation, person, position? Feel into your feelings, and you will feel your truth. Your feelings won't lie to you, they will tell you exactly what you want to do. If you think back to your first feeling about "it," you will notice that it is the same feeling that you have now, whatever "it" is. Even when you try to cover it up with denial of your feelings, they may suppress for a while, but they will come back up to the surface aggressively.
Think of a time where you were faced with a choice, think of how you felt about what you should do, now reflect on what you felt about your choices that you faced. You thought of the scenarios that you faced in all ways and directions. Think of where you are now and your initial feelings when the choice was first presented to you, the feeling that you have now is quite similar to the one you had before.
I have learned to take the path of resistance. I had to practice this, and it is said that practice makes perfect, I continue to listen to where my flow leads me. When did we learn to go against our inner voice? Where did we learn to not trust what our gut was telling us? I had to break the habit of allowing another's voice to rule in my head, that's why I monitor what I listen to, what I watch, especially repeatedly.
I don't push against, no matter how much my mind tells me to. I keep going in the direction that is leading me to good feelings, to more of what I desire. I take initial feelings as guidance from God. I remember my Mother telling me as a child to always go with my first mind. Not going with my first mind has put me in some life drastic changing positions. I consult with God before I make any decisions. When you do this, this practice becomes automatic. God leads the way, and the emotions that come to me, I look at them as protection for me, even if they make me feel uncomfortable, I know that there is a message within them.
What do you want to do? Do you even know what you want to do? Do you have a clear picture in your mind of what you really want to do? What would you do even if you weren't being paid to do it? These are the questions that lead to the purpose of your path.
When someone asks me to do something, to attend something, to go somewhere, I feel inside for the answer. Is there a feeling of resistance there or does it feel flow freeing?
I take the path of least resistance to everything in my life. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. It doesn't matter how good it sounds or how it looks to me, I go with my inner feelings. I have a motto that if I have to ponder over something I just don't do it, and it works for me. Because I think, "Why am I even questioning this so much in the first place?" I leave it. Sometimes my mind pokes at me, telling me that I am missing out on something, that I am not making the right choice, but I go inside to feel for the true answer.
I ask God, "what do you want me to do?" "I ask God, "where should I go?" When there is resistance in my sleeping at night, I ask God, "what do you want me to know?" I used to get frustrated when I couldn't sleep at night, now I know that there is a reason for me being awake. There is a message coming from the Divine realm for me. I get answers every time. I call out to God, I listen closely.
Before I go to sleep, if there is any kind of dilemma or problem present, I ask God to sort out the problem before I wake up in the morning, and I will know the answer upon awakening. I speak out to my subconscious mind, "As sure as the sun rises every morning, I know that the answer to my question will rise also."
I stopped doing things that didn't align with my spirit. I stopped talking to people and being in the presence of people who don't align with my spirit. I no longer felt uncomfortable after leaving the presence of certain people because I disengaged. When you know what you want, you don't settle for anything less than it. When you practice loving yourself, you don't settle for anything less than love. Your life changes as drama disappears. Your life improves as you stop hanging out with people who talk badly about you like that's acceptable. You make sure that people come through love if they're coming to you. I bring love so I expect love in return. I don't have time to waste in fear. I don't have time to waste in confusion. My time is worth more than drama, arguments, and participating in things that I don't want to.
Where are you going my love?
Do you know where you're going to?
Are you listening to you?
Do you stop to hear the clues?
I have something to say to you.
Take the path of least resistance.
Do what you tell me to do.
Walk to the beat of my own heart.
And trust what you tell me to do.
Thanks for connecting with me!
Let your heart lead the way, as you journey...
Infinite love to you,
I Stopped Asking People for Help and Started Going to God...
Thank you for the life
that has been given to me.
Although I agreed to many
I'll be okay because
God you are right here
with me. RGJ
There was a time when I went to people because I thought that I needed someone to talk to. I didn't quite get the power in knowing one's self. I didn't understand the magnitude of the Divine force that is accessible at any time inside of me. Sometimes when we feel that we need someone to talk to, they are not available for us in the way that we would like them to be. These people are trying to show up for themselves and then have to dig inside to show up for us too, and sometimes they don't have anything to dig up for us. I have found that whenever I am in a position to be a listening ear for someone else, it helps me. When people tell me thank you for listening, for helping me, I tell them that they helped me much more. I live by nothing is a mistake, there is no such thing as random, and everything is on Divine time. No matter how they come, how I feel about it, I feel like that they were Divinely sent to me. I feel there is a message in everything, every person, every experience, there is a reason and season for it all.
When I was younger, I would talk to people about things that I had no business talking to them about, my business, but it taught me some things about people and about myself. It gave me wisdom in talking to people myself. These people weren't experienced enough in life and didn't have the capacity to give me neutral advice. Their words came from their perspective only, and their opinion of my situation. Some people don't know how to just listen and to listen with empathy. I feel like there is no "wrong person," that I talked to because I learned a great lesson. I learned to keep my mouth closed and to go to God. I learned the power of silence and within that silence I was able to return to my true nature of who I really am.
If their words aren't helping, they are surely hurting.
As you tune into your true Divine inner being, you will know on vibrations alone of who you can and cannot go to in a time of need. "I stopped going to people for help, and I started going to God." It's not like I hadn't been to God before. And God sends messages through people, sometimes we don't have the ears to hear these people. When we are not ready for the message, instead we get offended. God has sent messages to me through people, and when I didn't listen, I lived with regret. God sends messages through our intuition, I have questioned that to, and lived with regret.
From November 27th, 2020 to December 30th, 2021 I was hospitalized between 3 hospitals. I was transferred to one for treatment, transferred to another for a special treatment, then transferred again to heal from the injuries that I obtained from the second hospital. There was a voice that came to me while I was in the first hospital to leave and to not return. I allowed fear to take control of me. I allowed the notion that these medical professionals could and would help me take over my inner voice. I was tired and desperate for relief. I had stopped talking to God, and started listening to fear. I had started making decisions with my afraid conscious mind.
This hospital escapade caused me a large hematoma on the left side of my body, internal bleeding, blood clots in my neck and arms, infected catheter in my neck, infecting my breast blowing up to a size G or so in infected fluid hard as rocks. Imagine painful heavy hot breasts full of infection, 55 pounds of fluid on my body, blood loss in my groin from a poorly placed catheter, and damage to my transplanted kidney. I am still dealing with the effects of this traumatic negligent experience. I can still remember the voice that spoke clearly to me saying, "leave this hospital and never return."
Here I am in a healing process where doctors have told me that I have the inability to heal. I have been told that it's doom's day for me if I don't take their treatment. I was talked to like I wasn't a person with feelings. They didn't care at all about how I felt. You know what I have learned? Listen to God. No one can tell you more about your body than you, you know how you feel. When I was released from the hospital, they tried sending me to hospice, or to send hospice home with me, I refused to go and I refused them coming into my home because they are setting me up for death, and I am setting myself up for life. I surely didn't feel like I was dying, and I was breaking the spell that they were trying to cast upon me.
There was a nurse that came by my room, even when she wasn't even my nurse for her shift, and she would look at me and say, "Allah has the final say," she repeated it if she felt I wasn't hearing her, then she would leave. Her words became impressed upon my subconscious mind.
I don't know why I am sharing this story now with you, and it's not the entire story, but it just came out as I wrote. I write with the flow and rhythm of my heart, and I do not restrict or hold back my words in concern.
There was a phlebotomist that came to draw my blood one morning at 4am, and I felt the need to talk to her because she reminded me of someone I knew, but she seemed reserved and quite introverted so I didn't because I overstand that kind of disposition. She came back to draw my blood two days later, but this time she got on her knees and woke me up. She said to me in a soft voice, "Ms. Jones you gotta wake up." I was drowsy from the medicines and just from being in there. She was on her knees holding my hand whispering, "wake up, you gotta get out of here, the lines in your arms are infected." I showed her the large hematoma on body, and I said, "I don't even know what this is," she told me what it was, and shook her head. She said, "this hospital is not equipped for what you need, you will heal better at home. She said, "if you want to live you have to get out of here." She told me that she couldn't sleep thinking about me, and God told her to come to me and warn me. I had all of the injuries that I wrote about above.
My condition was worsening and I had to fight to get out of that hospital.
I thank God for sending her to give me a message.
You don't know how grateful I am to God for sending her to me with that message. I was in the hospital and those doctors came to me every day around the clock, using manipulative tactics, and at one point, I was so confused, drowsy, and fearful that I could only hear their words. Imagine being told that you are going to die almost every day that you are hospitalized and I was there over a month. It seemed that they had drowned out God's voice within me. But that wasn't so, my Mother kept reminding me to have faith in God, to go to God for answers, and that God would show me the way. My Mother reminded me, "God didn't bring you this far to leave you."
I found myself awake in the middle of the night when those meddling doctors couldn't come, and I could hear God from deep inside of me, I could feel the presence of God within me. Divine signs began to come to me and show me the way. I started to become overwhelmed with gratitude for God protecting me in a situation where I definitely couldn't see my life, where I was overcome with grief. These doctors don't know me, yet are quick to speak over my life like they are God. There are many doctors who are going to have to answer to the Most High because they have unconsciously lost their way in dealing with patient's lives.
There was a time where I couldn't have told you this story without tears and pain. I felt violated and treated with disregard. I stopped going to doctors thinking that they could help me, thinking that they would have answers for me, to help me out of my situation.
Remembering that God is the Source of my supply and everything else is just an avenue was a game changer for me. I stopped going to people and started going to the Source. People cannot see the Divine plan for my life or yours, they weren't given that power. See how the doctors quickly write me and so many other people off, think if God gave them the power to truly know when and if you would surely crossover.
I stopped asking people for help and I started going to God. I don't have to worry about God talking bad about me, talking about what God did for me to other people, or telling my business. I know that it starts and stops with God. God loves me so that even when I wasn't in alignment in spirit, God sent a message through a soul for me. I feel an insurmountable feeling of joy. Right now, God has much more for me to do, I am not done fulfilling, so I keep listening to God for the way. I am given signs through people, through synchronicity, though messages, people come to me just in time, and even through blood tests, God has shown up over and over again.
When I go to God I don't have to worry about being asked a thousand questions of why, why do I need this? How did I get in this predicament? What do I need it for? Where is _____ person, why can't they help you? What happened? God knows what happened. I don't have to hear one complaint, one painful criticizing word, I don't have to be frowned upon, or feel shame because I remember who the Source of my supply is. God is the Source of my supply and the light within me, and I am the light. God leads the way, I follow.
Have you ever come to a point where you didn't know what to say to God? Where you avoided going to God because what would you say? Were you overwhelmed with where your life was, and was resentful? Were you at a point of, "why me?" Did you feel like you were being punished for some karmic deed so you stopped talking to God?
Those are merely tricks of the enemy's mind within you, they are false narratives, and we have the power to change the narrative.
I had to ask myself, "what do I believe?" "Who do I trust in?" When messengers of God come to you, there is no confusion, and they come truth and love. You can literally feel their best interest for you.
Have you ever stopped talking to God?
Who did you talk to?
Did things get better for you?
Could you see clearly your way through?
Did you remember that you are God as God is you?
God loves to talk to you.
Thanks for connecting with me!
Infinite love to you,
May you know the peace within you,
Raquel Givens Jones
Dancer, Author, Blogger, Poet, Writer, Radio, Dog Lover, Yogi,
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