THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE
Come, sit with me, close your eyes, hold my hand, let's go far away from this place to the place in which you came from.
Blissed Are Those Who Understand the Power of Letting Go...
They are blissed because they have figured out which golden key unlocks the door of happiness.
Happiness only comes when we learn to let go of the things that make us unhappy. Yes, it’s that simple. Because if we are unhappy without, surely, we will be unhappy with. The more we let go, the happier we'll get. In order to be happy, there can be nothing holding you down. There is a thin line, and you make the choice.
We have to sacrifice for what we want and need, sometimes making huge and uncomfortable sacrifices. You don’t get anything without giving up something. There is no such thing as something for nothing. Do you want to hold onto the hurt and pain, or do you want to enjoy pure happiness? Because you can't do both.
Do you feel like happiness is attainable?
Do you feel like happiness is real?
Do you feel like you deserve happiness?
Those 3 questions are important to answer, because you must know how you feel about happiness before attaining it. Do you feel like something is bound to go wrong when everything feels like it's going right? Do you self-sabotage when things are going right, because right doesn't feel normal to you? We self-sabotage without knowing that we are doing so. When grow up through trauma it's hard to be happy without thinking something is going to go badly for us. It is such a stressful way to be, sometimes manifesting unpleasant things.
For example: You are in a romantic relationship where everything is going great. You begin looking for holes in the relationship. Then you may look for deceit in the individual that you're involved with, start a petty argument, or you drudge up old memories and situations where you were treated badly and betrayed, comparing your current situation. Your mind may get the best of you creating scenarios that are not true. You may even pick someone that you know won't be the best for you. You may be doing these things subconsciously and if that is the case, then you have to reprogram your subconscious mind. This is what my life is about, I work on reprogramming my subconscious mind every day.
You look for the wrongs instead of enjoying the rights because you won't let go of the wrongs of the past. Your faith is broken in relationships because of how you trusted, was treated and was hurt in the past.
Well, this is important for you to know. We get more of what we feel, what we believe, and what we give our attention to. So, if it's already set in your mind that your relationships go sour, then that's what you'll get every time. This is how our subconscious programming works. It gives you more of what you believe. It gives you more of what you think about. Where your energy goes is where your experiences will go.
This why learning to let go is vital to our lives and to living a good life.
I didn't know that this was a problem for me, I wasn't aware how it was a challenge for me to let go until I actually tried to let some hurtful experiences go instead of pushing them to the back of my mind.
Once you understand that happiness is a choice, then you will know that it’s up to you to choose it or not. You get the gift of choosing how you want to feel. But you must know that your happiness is determined by your ability to let go.
If you look at your life, you will see that it’s a series of letting go, over and over again. And sometimes we have to let go of the same thing again and again. We go and pick these things back up again, sometimes over and over again, after we have worked so hard to free ourselves of them. It doesn't matter how many times you have to begin again, do that, begin again, again, and again. It is beautiful and encouraging that we get to live to have another chance to begin again. There are no rules to letting go or beginning again.
How many times have you picked it back up?
How many times have you forgiven them?
How many times have you had to forgive yourself for the same thing?
Do you keep having to forgive yourself again and again for the same hurtful experiences?
When I retired early from my career due to my health problems, I decided to use the time that I had to figure out me, learn about me, and how to get myself healthy naturally. Because I was going in the wrong direction to get myself to the point where I was.
I was led to learn about me and the habits of my personality that was keeping me away from my heart’s desires. I haven't stopped learning about who I can be and what do I need to let go of?
Is it people, situations, my habits, what needs to go so that I can live a more fulfilling life?
“I kept having the most painful experiences that were hard to let go, seemingly impossible to forget, it seemed impossible for me to let go of it.”
I had to think back when I was a child and I remember that if you betrayed me in any kind of way, I would never forgive you. If you said something to me that hurt me, I was completely done with you. If you did something to hurt me, it was nothing for me to see you burn into pieces in my mind.
I went to church and had to sit on the front row with all the rest of the children. Yet I missed the message of forgiveness. I felt like, “why would I forgive you when you are doing things to me that I would never do to you?” I felt like, "why would you terrorize a child like they don't have important feelings, you're not thinking about how you're hurting me, so why should I care about you?"
I have always been one to stay to myself. I am a loner even though I don't appear that way. I surely have never set out to intentionally hurt another. Although I have said hurtful things to people, I haven’t set out to intentionally harm anyone. I have only responded in a hurtful manner when the person has approached me in a hurtful manner.
It was my mother who saw my unforgiving spirit and quickly set me straight. She asked me why didn't I forgive people? She said, “you do know that you are supposed to forgive people?” Before I could say no to her question. She said, “holding onto whatever they have done to you is only going to hurt you,” she gave me bible scriptures to read on forgiveness.
“Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21, 22.
You may not believe in the Bible, yet if you read into this scripture on forgiveness, you become to understand that forgiveness is for you.
I am grateful that my mom was there to set me straight about forgiveness among other things that she corrected in me. Because surely, I had set up my mind to be unforgiving forever and it is a strong attribute in my natal chart. The problem with being unforgiving is that you become that way with yourself too.
I had to come to a clear understanding that whenever I forgave someone, I was forgiving myself too. I no longer had to carry around the heavy burden of pain or shame in allowing them to fool me. That’s why I was really mad. Because I am saying to myself, how did I allow them to do that to me in the first place? Revenge wasn’t far from my mind. I had enough anger in me to start a riot when someone wronged me.
Kuyeke Kuhambe are the words in Zulu that I had tattooed on my right forearm. The words mean to "let it go." At the time, I couldn't let go of the memories that helped me get into major health problems. I couldn't forgive the doctor who led me to take an unnecessary test that led me to greater health problems which I am still paying for to this day. Those doctors didn't have to pay, but I am. This is why I always say to make your own decisions from the inner voice of your gut, because you sure will be the only one paying for them and having to look as you live the consequences through.
I had to reach a place of peace if I wanted to live in peace. If I wanted the doors of happiness to open for me, I had to let it go all that made me unhappy.
You can't say that you'll be happy when. You must be happy now, and live in a vibration of being happy, in order for the things that vibrate happiness to come into your experience.
There were so many unwarranted and unfair things done to me in this lifetime that I searched inside of me for what I had done to deserve these painful circumstances. I wondered if I did something cruel in a past lifetime. We begin to search for whys when terrible things happen for us, but do we search for the whys when the awesome things happen for us.
We have to make space for our blessings, as we have to be in a space for our blessings. We have to be focused on what we want manifested while it is waiting on us. Everything that you are seeking is seeking you. It wants you and is waiting on you. Most of the time, it is waiting for us to let go of the petty things, the things that we cannot erase, and the things that we have no control over.
I still struggled with regret, and why did I let this happen? Letting go seemed to be the hardest thing for me to do.
It wasn't until I met meditation that I truly got a real feeling of being free from what has been holding me back. What have I been holding onto? Everything that was ever done to hurt me, to wrong me, I had a strong memory, and I would never forget. Now I have forgotten so many things that it's like I have memory loss. I forget now on purpose, misunderstandings, mistreatment, situations, words, arguments, people, offenses, backstabbing, rumors, losses, lies, stabs, shots, and anything that interrupts me feeling good inside. I know for sure that nothing matters more than me feeling good. If I want to enjoy my health, I have to feel good. If I want to enjoy my wealth, I must feel good. If I want to be happy, I must feel good. And if I got to let you go or let it go to feel good, then so be it. It is gone.
I will never forget the words of Ester Hicks, "All that matters is that I feel good."
Please tell me what matters more than that, because getting anything done, especially in a spectacular way, depends on the way you feel.
My peace, my happiness, is priceless, although I will pay anything for it.
Thank you for being a part of my tribe,
Raquel Givens Jones
Author, blogger, poet, writer, radio show host, animal lover, yogi,
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