THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE
Come, sit with me, close your eyes, hold my hand, let's go far away from this place to the place in which you came from.
"When you surrender, it all comes to you"
It seems like I have been pushing against my Divine assignment. It feels like I have been trying too hard in some things, and being too hard on myself in other things. Have you ever tried so hard that you ended up with a headache? I have been trying to do things that my spirit and mind have been resisting against. I didn't want to feel like I was giving up, so I just kept it pushing, even though it's not what I wanted to do.
When we do things that our spirit, mind, and body don't want to do, we create tension, irritation, and confusion in our spirit. I didn't want to feel like I was being ungrateful for my blessings, so I wouldn't complain, I just kept going, because I thought that it will get better. What I thought would get better seemed to become worse in my mind. It became harder to do. I prayed about it, and immediately my spirit knew what to do. To stop giving my all to it, to try something different, and be true to my spirit.
Whenever we feel resistance in something that we are doing, then it's not for us. It shouldn't be a inner struggle to do something that we really want to be do. If it doesn't make you feel good inside, it's probably not the right choice for you. Once I heard someone say, "anything that you have to ponder over, you shouldn't do." I use this theory anytime I am about to make a purchase, a choice, a decision of any kind. It goes back to going with your first mind. What did your first mind say do? Whatever your first mind says, that's the best choice for you. When I go against my first mind, I learn a hard lesson every time.
I give myself 24 hours before I make any huge decisions. The decision doesn't have to be huge, but I will give myself a night to sleep on it. If I feel the same whenever I wake up, then I know what I need to do. Sometimes we feel different about things after waking up. Our feelings are subject to change, our emotions are always in motions, so they are fickle too. I ask my subconscious mind, God before I go to sleep, to lead me to the right decision, to guide my path, and I trust the answers that I receive. We do things without consulting our higher selves, and then these same things take us to low places, when we never thought to ask our higher self.
We try when we should do, because when we do, we come to know if that's what we really want to do. When we want to do something we don't have to try, it comes naturally to us.
Sometimes we want things so much so that we push them away. When we want, we are telling the Universe that we are lacking. This has been a subject that I have become more conscious of within myself over this year. Am I craving and wanting, and as a result self-sabotaging? When I find myself wanting and my mind wandering on wanting, I quote the Psalms 23, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." We don't have to want, God supplies all our needs. We have to be more faithful in what we ask for, knowing that it is already done.
I had to make it up in my mind that I would stop doing things that I didn't want to do. When we do things that we don't want to do, we send a message not only to others, but to the Universe itself that this is what we want, when it's not true. I found myself in this situation for different things. Because when you accept doing something that you don't want to do for one thing, it will be easier for you to accept it for other things as well. And I just couldn't stop doing it overnight, it is an unraveling, preparing, and it takes some time. The important thing is to make up your mind that you are going to do something different, and make the plans to stop doing what you don't want to do, so that you can make the change. If you can stop it abruptly, stop. It takes too much energy to do something that you don't feel in your spirit to do. It's a waste of time to do something that you don't want to do.
I had to get the notion out of my mind that I was being ungrateful. I looked at it in retrospect and thought that it is a shame that I had to reprogram my mind telling it that it is okay if I want to move on to something fulfilling when what I was doing wasn't making me happy. Every time someone would tell me that they were happy for me, and it was so wonderful that I could be doing what I wanted to do, I couldn't get excited with them, because it would be a lie.
When you are doing things that feel like you're pushing against the grain, it's time to surrender. I have surrendered to many situations, relationships, and people that I felt like I was in resistance against, and I started to feel better immediately. I came to accept situations for what they are, and I stopped trying to make them what I wanted them to be. If the Spirit tells me something about a person, I listen. When I haven't listened to Spirit about situations and people, I have ended up with hurt feelings, and boy am I sensitive. I am sensitive to my feelings to other people feelings, and especially to words. I may appear hard on the outside, but I am sensitive with too good of a memory, leaving lasting effects, so boundaries are a must for me. I didn't realize that in my younger years, but I know now, I learned from having a lack of boundaries for myself and others.
When I was dealing with lupus every day, I used to fight against it. I would do everything to resist against it, to deny it. I came to surrender to it, not in a way to allow it to take over, but to relax, and release the dis-ease in my body in an attitude of ease instead of like I was in a fight constantly. I was creating tension fighting against it. Why would I fight with something that I don't want to win? I don't even want to be in the conflict of lupus. Lupus can have it, the win, and all. I don't want to win it, because I don't want it. I had to change the way I was looking at lupus, and see how I was running off of fear fumes, rising lupus every time.
In surrendering, all of the answers that we have been searching for comes to us at ease. When I first started surrendering, it felt like I was giving up, but that wasn't the case. I was just learning to row my boat gently down the stream, instead of rowing against the current going upstream. I learned that what God has for me is for me, the lessons, and all. Everything that I am to experience is for a reason, nothing happens by mistake. The only thing that I won't be surrendering is my faith and my Divine purpose. I am a vessel for God and I am here to do Divine works.
Surrendering is not giving up, it's letting God work. It's stepping out of the way, and keeping your faith, and trusting the Most High to guide you on your way. It is saying that I will not resist to what is, but I will accept what is, and change what I can. I will not stress myself out, and continue to do things that doesn't feel good for me, and my spirit. I surrender all things that doesn't serve my highest good, my purpose, and love. I surrender participating in trying, and trying hard, and I will only do. I surrender in trying to get others to see anything, and focus on what I am looking at. I surrender all things that make me feel uneasy and unpleasant. I surrender wasting my time on things that aren't enjoyable to me. I surrender on anything that doesn't feel right to me
Thank you for reading. I had a moment today. There is something that I have been working on, and I came to this conclusion, that I will surrender to the Most High, I surrender all of it to the Most High, and I will cruise on faith.
When you surrender, the answers come to you.
I am grateful for you! Thank you for taking this journey with me!
I love you forever,
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Raquel Givens Jones
Author, blogger, poet, writer, radio show host, animal lover, yogi,
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